2011

Recalling 2011,
The first half was full of drama & pressure.  I don't know what got into my head, but I decided to join the church's full time training in Anaheim so I applied for a US student visa.  I applied twice, and got denied twice.

I really wasn't happy with my job so I decided to just resign by end of April and figure out what to do next.  My options were: join the local church training, have further studies, or find a new job.

People were expecting or maybe hoping that since I wasn't able to get a student visa, I would join the local church training in Malabon instead.  I wasn't sure on what I really wanted to do and joining the training for me, would just be succumbing to peer pressure.  After some time of praying, I decided not to go.

During summer break of my 3rd year in college, I was supposed to enroll in FIP but got sick & did not proceed.  I've always wanted to learn how to make clothes, so i decided to make use of my "bum time" to enroll.  I took basic fashion design & basic pattern making on July.  It was 8 whole day sessions, once a week class per subject.  I started basic sewing on Sept and have until around February 2012 to finish.

My former colleagues who got so stressed out, invited me to go boxing with them.  They claim it's a stress reliever so I gave it a try.  We started some time by the end of March.  I tried boxing for the first session, then muay thai on the second session onwards.  When I was still in elementary, I remember being very interested in learning martial arts but I didn't pursue since my parents weren't so keen on the idea.  I'm happy I was able to try it now.  Even after I resigned, studied, and found a new job, I still go twice or once a week.  Sometimes I get to meet my former colleagues.

By September, I was only taking sewing classes since I didn't enroll in the advanced subjects.  I figured it was time to look for a job, so when an offer came, I decided to take it and start on November. Even if it's totally unrelated to my course, I just gave it a try since it's more defined compared to what I used to do, plus it's near our house.

On September, I also got to go out of the country with just my former colleagues.  It was my first trip abroad without my family or my church mates.

Before I started on the new job, I took driving lessons.  It was now or never, so I used my remaining "bum time" on October and enrolled in driving school.  At home they pay much attention to cars that I doubt they'll let me drive one.  Heck at times I think they prioritize the car's safety over mine haha.  It was one of my drawbacks in learning how to drive, but I figured it's a useful skill that I might need one day, so I better start somewhere.

I just got my driver's license on December.  They don't let me drive at home.  The most I can do was move the car forward & backward outside the gate.  Thankfully I was able to pass the written & practical exams. After the driving lessons, I wasn't able to practice that much.  At least I had my student permit changed into a non-pro license.

As for the new job, well, I can't tell how long I would be able to stay there.  It's a different set-up, and I really just go there to work. Clock in-work-clock out, bye. It's a daily thing so I cannot do things in advance, unlike before where I can be gone for a week and not have people wanting to rip my head off.  I miss my former colleagues.  I know I'm a quiet person, but I warm up and get loud after I get to know the person better. Due to complicated things, I can't see myself having the same relationships with my colleagues now.

Who knows if I made the right decisions.  Sometimes I wonder, maybe I shouldn't have resigned from my first job, maybe I should've gone to the local church training instead.  In all those things, when I prayed and made a decision, I had inner peace. There are times when i just second-guess things.  Like if I could ask God one question, it would be "If after resignation, the ideal thing was to join the training then why wasn't the way opened when I applied for a student visa the second time?"  The only reason I can think of is staying in the US is too expensive hahaha.

One thing I learned though, is to move forward.  Even if you found out that you made a wrong decision, you cannot just dwell in regret.  I still don't know if I'm on the right track, but I thank the Lord for letting me try the things that I wanted to do but never got the chance before.  Even if I deviated from the 'ideal' thing, I wasn't completely left alone wandering.  Now in my new work environment, I just take it as it is.  If I'm led to move then I move, if I stay then I stay, trusting that the Lord is sovereign and knows better than I do.

Thank You Lord

Every Monday night, I usually attend a Bible study group (they call it RSG. If I remember correctly, it stands for Recovery Version Bible Study Group).  We are on the book of Hebrews right now.  Last night's topic covered Hebrews 2:5-18 and messages 7-8 of the Life Study of Hebrews.

Message 8 of the Life Study talked about Jesus in Incarnation, Crucifixion, Resurrection, Glorification, and Exaltation. Reading about the details of those processes, I was impressed that our salvation is much more than what we usually hear about how Jesus died for our sins on the cross that we may be saved from hell.  Although that is correct, it is not complete.  These are the points taken from the Life Study that I enjoyed for each of the process:

INCARNATION
- God came in the flesh not to command us to do something, but to be one with us.  He did not come as God to rescue us, for that would have terrified us.  He did not come as an angel to embrace us, for we could not have accepted that.  He came in reality, just as we are.  He partook of our nature, of our blood and flesh.
- God came as a man in order to establish His corporation of Christ and the church.
- The Lord was made like His brothers in all things that He might symphatize with them.

CRUCIFIXION
- Christ not only tasted death for man but also for all other things.  This is the reason that we say that Christ's death was an all-inclusive death.
- The Lord Jesus made propitiation for our sins to reconcile us to God, by satisfying God's righteous demands on us. Thus, He has appeased God for us.
- Because of the all-inclusive crucifixion of Christ, there is no more death, no more sin, no more devil, no more fear of death, and no more slavery.

RESURRECTION
- The seed is sown into the soil, dies, and eventually the wheat comes forth.  This is resurrection.  Every day and everywhere you can see resurrection.
- In 1 Corinthians 15 Paul tells us that the seed which dies and grows again is a picture of resurrection
- Christ's death released the divine life within Him and His resurrection imparted the life of God into us in order that we might become the many sons of God and His many brothers.
- When the Lord declared the Father's name to His brothers, He praised the Father's name in the church.  The brothers are the church.  Individually speaking, they are His brothers and collectively speaking, they are the church brought forth in His resurrection.

GLORIFICATION
- As the Captain of our salvation, Christ, in His ascension, has entered into glory in which God is.  yGod's desire is to bring His many sons into glory.  Christ took the lead to enter into this glory

EXALTATION
- After Christ had been crowned with glory and honor in His ascension, God gave Him the dominion over all things in His exaltation.  This is similar to what God did with Adam.  Adam lost the dominion that God gave to him, but, according to the prophecy of Psalm 8, Christ has recovered what Adam lost.
- We were born in the first man and lost everything with him.  But since we have been reborn in the second man, we have regained everything.
- In His exaltation, Christ was made Head over all things. God has subjected all things under His feet. Now He is only waiting for one thing-for the subtle Satan and all His enemies to be made His footstool.

We have such a profound salvation!  Somebody shared that reading about these high truths may seem hard, but we just have to be thankful for everything that the Lord has done.  I agree that I too had a hard time understanding everything, but when I read about the details of the processes Christ went through, I just had a feeling that wow, this is something worth sharing to people.  Some people have a concept that God is so far away and abstract.  Now we see that after going through those processes, He can now be near and reachable to us.

When you start to say "Thank you, Lord" you realize you have a lot of things to be thankful for :)

You can also find the Life Study online to read the whole messages. Check out the website: http://www.ministrybooks.org/life-studies.cfm

Not Knowing

I remember that quote by Watchman Nee that my church mates shared to me. I decided to make a poster to also practice my Photoshop skills ;)

Right now, I am second guessing every major decision that I made. Maybe I shouldn't have done this, maybe it's better if chose this or that, etc.

Yes, now that I am plunged into uncertainty, I find myself asking the Lord more often if I should do a certain thing or not. I don't know if I interpret answers correctly, but I keep coming for 'consultations'. Sometimes I just say, "I'm going to do this." I don't know if it's right, all I know is that I prayed before doing it.

In difficult times, I learned that it's hard if you are bitter. You 'know' or people say that God is sovereign, He is good, loving, He knows what He's doing, etc.  But if you are bitter, no matter how good the intentions are, you won't see or believe in it.  I also enjoyed a hymn which we sometimes sing during church meetings. One of the stanza says:

"And if the way is hard,
If things don't go my way,
Keep my heart soft to You,
Keep me open to You."

Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/ns/42#ixzz1RVj1aDA0

Click on the link to read the whole hymn. The website also plays the tune and has music sheet for piano and guitar. :)

I believe even bloopers are part of God's sovereignty. I may not understand things right not. I just take the hymn as my prayer, that whatever it is that I would go through, I would not be bitter. Instead, I would keep having those hundreds and thousands of conversations with the Lord :)

Whatever! Shirts

Graphic tees are my wardrobe staples.  For days that I am too lazy to dress up, I just put one on and pair it with jeans and sandals or sneakers.

One of my favorite graphic tee brand is Whatever! from Robinsons Department Store. I always check out what new designs they have whenever we go to Robinsons.  The price ranges from Php199.75-Php249.50.

You Keep Popping Into My Thoughts

This is the latest one I bought. It's actually a sleepwear set, but I can go out with the shirt :) The matching pants have the popcorn character printed all over it. The set costs Php400.00. You can also buy the pants or shirt separately.







 

My former colleague gave me this Plants VS Zombies shirt :)

These are the other ones I bought for the past years. I feel that I would add more. We don't always go to Robinsons, so I'm bound to buy one on our next trip. :)

Paris France

Whatever!

Yeah Hi Whateverrr

Rocco's World Famous Italian Ices

Little Miss Bad

Quirk

Definition, synonyms and related words for quirk taken from http://www.merriam-webster.com :)

An example sentence from the website: Everyone has their little quirks. Agree :) Everyone has their own characteristics, be it a hobby, interest, habit, etc. that people may think are weird, but that's what makes them who they are and what separates them from everybody else.

Some things about me that I think people find or would find weird:
 1. I don't like seafood >_< except for salmon sashimi and tuna sandwich (the one with mayonnaise, onions, and stuff). If it's done/cooked in any other way, I don't like it anymore @_@

2. Whenever I eat a sandwich/burger, I have this weird habit of eating the bread first and leaving a portion of the filling to eat afterwards. ^^;

3. I like very gothic or very funky and colorful designs.

4. I easily get cold, but I prefer it that way. I like the feeling of cold weather with a blanket wrapped around me or with a jacket on.

5. I think my hair needs two kinds of shampoo.  One for regular use, and the other to just give it something 'new' from time to time.

Weird? :)