The first half was full of drama & pressure. I don't know what got into my head, but I decided to join the church's full time training in Anaheim so I applied for a US student visa. I applied twice, and got denied twice.
I really wasn't happy with my job so I decided to just resign by end of April and figure out what to do next. My options were: join the local church training, have further studies, or find a new job.
People were expecting or maybe hoping that since I wasn't able to get a student visa, I would join the local church training in Malabon instead. I wasn't sure on what I really wanted to do and joining the training for me, would just be succumbing to peer pressure. After some time of praying, I decided not to go.
During summer break of my 3rd year in college, I was supposed to enroll in FIP but got sick & did not proceed. I've always wanted to learn how to make clothes, so i decided to make use of my "bum time" to enroll. I took basic fashion design & basic pattern making on July. It was 8 whole day sessions, once a week class per subject. I started basic sewing on Sept and have until around February 2012 to finish.
My former colleagues who got so stressed out, invited me to go boxing with them. They claim it's a stress reliever so I gave it a try. We started some time by the end of March. I tried boxing for the first session, then muay thai on the second session onwards. When I was still in elementary, I remember being very interested in learning martial arts but I didn't pursue since my parents weren't so keen on the idea. I'm happy I was able to try it now. Even after I resigned, studied, and found a new job, I still go twice or once a week. Sometimes I get to meet my former colleagues.
By September, I was only taking sewing classes since I didn't enroll in the advanced subjects. I figured it was time to look for a job, so when an offer came, I decided to take it and start on November. Even if it's totally unrelated to my course, I just gave it a try since it's more defined compared to what I used to do, plus it's near our house.
On September, I also got to go out of the country with just my former colleagues. It was my first trip abroad without my family or my church mates.
Before I started on the new job, I took driving lessons. It was now or never, so I used my remaining "bum time" on October and enrolled in driving school. At home they pay much attention to cars that I doubt they'll let me drive one. Heck at times I think they prioritize the car's safety over mine haha. It was one of my drawbacks in learning how to drive, but I figured it's a useful skill that I might need one day, so I better start somewhere.
I just got my driver's license on December. They don't let me drive at home. The most I can do was move the car forward & backward outside the gate. Thankfully I was able to pass the written & practical exams. After the driving lessons, I wasn't able to practice that much. At least I had my student permit changed into a non-pro license.
As for the new job, well, I can't tell how long I would be able to stay there. It's a different set-up, and I really just go there to work. Clock in-work-clock out, bye. It's a daily thing so I cannot do things in advance, unlike before where I can be gone for a week and not have people wanting to rip my head off. I miss my former colleagues. I know I'm a quiet person, but I warm up and get loud after I get to know the person better. Due to complicated things, I can't see myself having the same relationships with my colleagues now.
Who knows if I made the right decisions. Sometimes I wonder, maybe I shouldn't have resigned from my first job, maybe I should've gone to the local church training instead. In all those things, when I prayed and made a decision, I had inner peace. There are times when i just second-guess things. Like if I could ask God one question, it would be "If after resignation, the ideal thing was to join the training then why wasn't the way opened when I applied for a student visa the second time?" The only reason I can think of is staying in the US is too expensive hahaha.
One thing I learned though, is to move forward. Even if you found out that you made a wrong decision, you cannot just dwell in regret. I still don't know if I'm on the right track, but I thank the Lord for letting me try the things that I wanted to do but never got the chance before. Even if I deviated from the 'ideal' thing, I wasn't completely left alone wandering. Now in my new work environment, I just take it as it is. If I'm led to move then I move, if I stay then I stay, trusting that the Lord is sovereign and knows better than I do.
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